just me

2006-06-22T08:37:00.000-07:00

in a happy mood now.hahaz.me and yilok fnally ok le,hahaz,now talking on phone wif her,hahaz... the lonely feeling i have yesterday is still here.... but abit not so le. maybe got to do wif talkingt o lok again le ba.. feel so happy.hahaz.went out wif shir today,go play pool,was fun,hahz.nth le,buaiz

2006-06-21T08:53:00.000-07:00

haiz.. dunno why nowadays. whenever i see my classmates in their grps,i feel so hollow inside.. like i am missing out alot of things.feel so lonely... cant seem to talk to my classmates either... keep thinking about the times in sec sch,where i use to noisy... thinking abt all my frens. all of them went to poly or jc... when ever i think till this... just feel so lonely... i try to convince myself tat i just join them 1 yr later.its not a bad deal... but it seems tat it really is a big deal to me.. cant seem to 4get abt the fact tat i am slower in a yr...when ever they talk abt their frens in new sch.i got nth to say,cos i got no frens in my new sch... really feel like crying nowadays.. really, am so tired of being always alone..... reminds me of ziu de,ni shi gu dan yi ge ren de.... really feel veri alone.just wish tat i could just cry my hearts out.... but too bad... i cant.................

2006-06-12T11:19:00.001-07:00

halo,its been a long time since i last update. yesterday was my bday.was half happy and half sad i can say. happy part first ba.went out and celebrate wif ah bird,raina,amy,lisi,jingying,zhixing,ziu and tim.went to sakura and eat,hahaz,veri nice,lolz,keep teasing ah bird abt the eating the raw fish,hahaz,then play abt lorz,amy keep singing 4 ever love to ah bird and tim.hahaz,was funny,then veri embarrassed.. cos stupid bird ask them sing bday song there,i siam half way,hahaz,so pai sei XD. then went off play pool,wif ziu,bird,lisi,raina and tim,hahaz,tim and bird gd player worz,raina also not bad 4 first timer,ziu was damn funny,lisi is LOL.hahaz.then jiu go hm le,they gave me a present,it was a cup,so happy,hahaz,this yr onli got 2 present,lol.both from my frens de,1 is the cup,the other 1 is the gundam from lisi,like it alot,cos its the first time ppl gif me gundam as present, hahaz
so now,the sad part. haizz,just feel veri sad and abit hurt ba,wonder y,if my frens can remember my bday.i wonder how my father can 4get... iwas not expecting much,just a simple happy bday will do.is it so hard... thinking abt this,i really feel like cryin.. my own father,cant remember my bday,when he can remember my sister de.... haiz, dunno how come he can 4get... maybe i am not impt in his life ba... maybe he onli care abt my sister ba,really dunno the reason,all i noe is,after tonight. me and him,our relation.will drift more apart ba... haizz. really dunno to feel happy or sad now......

2006-06-12T11:19:00.000-07:00

2006-05-24T07:03:00.000-07:00

here to update.fei hua..or else wat i am here 4,lame me,hahaz.sch is as boring as usual..but then,i start to open up a little in class le ba...at lest will talk abit now,haha,gd sign?not sure.today lessons.was really slping....too tired,anyway...i confess to her last night.. sms her,but she was aslp.dunno she got read the msg today anot.if got.she has no reaction at all.... zzzz,she told me last night be4 i tell her how i feel abt her tat she got a boyfren...prob is,i not sure she joking or jealous..cos its like..she nvr seems to contact her boy fren at all.really..ziu,i noe u will say.tat take it negativly.as the saying goes,the higher ur hopes.the more u will be hurt...but i cant seem let go of the hope tat she might be bluffing me,but i just cant help it,useless me.... anyway.hope tat she will gif me a definate ans soon... a no is better then a no reaction... at lest i wont have false hope ba...,haizzz feel like unleashing the 2nd me.... should i or should i not?just start to open up in class onli..if i unleash the 2nd me,i will just close myself up again..zzzzz the kind of feelings i am having now sux........

2006-05-18T09:36:00.000-07:00

today...nvr go sch,dun feel like going.so end up nvr go...then went to long house.was talking,helping him creat blog etc... nth much happen today..now not in veri gd mood.dunno y. she's sick.having fever.and still her damn teacher give her so much project. then she tml still wan work.really nid to so hiong ma.. really veri worry abt her.haizzzz

2006-05-17T08:24:00.000-07:00

halo...long time since i update.,seems like whenever i update this blog.is when i veri confuse and low de times,guess my blog onli this purpose ba,so today.went to jts,its a life skill thing la,damn stupid.... then change teacher,the last teacher more fun,this teacher is so.....boring.then dun really care wat she say,smsing wif someone...dun wanna say who,scared this thing leak out,but if u noe me,should noe is who le ba...she was late 4 sch today,by almost 1 hr.then was playing abt,cos think of reason to tell her teacher,then my first thought was,i help old lady cross rd,tats y late.damn funny,then jiu keep smsing thoughout whole day,was suppose to hav lab today,dun feel like going,so pon lab and went to library 4 abt 4hrs. almost freeze to death,then meet her at jp,went to kp buy present 4 joss,who just gave birht to a baby boy,then kanna shoot by the full timers,say we 2 watever lan thing la,then was like,dunno wat to feel..finally buy the present,then go makan wif jing ying ,zhi xing,shirley, tim and her,then go visit joss,her dog damn cute,her baby also,then stay there till abt 8 plus,go off le,hang out wif her and shir at jp till abt 9.30.then went hm.over all a nice day ba.

haiz.sometimes,i really wish i noe how a gal thinks and feel.at lest i dun nid to guess...dun nid to be scared of expressing how i feel.sometimes,i just feel so damn damn damn cowardly,wats so hard in telling ppl how i feel.like wat lok says,i hav the right to express how i feel,if she acpect or not,is another matter,but i just cant seems to do wat i think i should...this kind of feelings sux.some times,i really envy vis.even though he damn color,at lest he dare to express his feelins,haiz,
damn the cowardly side of me,if onli there is a way to seperate me and tat side.....

2006-04-19T02:47:00.000-07:00

hiya all again,quite a long time since i last update,hahaz,so was waiting 4 my posting,end up nvr get into poly,haha.nvm,still got next yr,then i now offically a dover ite student,lol,work wise,feel as if i ball,hahaz,kanna kick here kick there,but nvm,cos is kick me back to jurong point,hehez. nth much i wanna talk abt la,to all those taking o lvl this yr,jia you,cos ur mt o lvl coming,lol,to kiddy gang,have fun in poly,next yr i might become ur junior,hahaaz,nth le,buaiz

2006-04-04T08:30:00.000-07:00

quite long nvr update le,nth much to say,i miss jp,but lucky can go back 4 awhile more,nyp and cementi ite still haben gif me letter,so dunno if they wan me ma,life still black....

2006-03-28T08:02:00.000-08:00

zzz.catch wrong thief today,then real theif nvr catch, really is zzzzz.mood is going from bad to worse,esp when i think abt not going to jp 4 work.zzzzz, life sux now.....

2006-03-27T07:56:00.000-08:00

went to lot 1 today,was happy at first,then angry at last,reason is becos of pauline,wanna noe wat happen,ask me personally. just remember tat time desaru,actually all us part timers wanna go together de.haiz,end up nvr, was thinking how much fun it would be if we all went together.if onli time will reverse..........

2006-03-26T08:03:00.000-08:00

here to update le,today time flys.wonder y,is it becos i busy keeping track of the thief,or is it becos i am thinking having to leave jp le,haiz,come to think of it,i leaving in 4 more days le,really cant bear to leave,make alot of frens there.there is shirley,our da jie,raina,my gan mei XD,jing ying,always ask me help her carry goods(LOL but i dun mind),tim,my shi fu,see kee.miss strawberry shortcake,amy,even thought we started off badly,fanny,josslin,our kiddy mum, and alot more. haiz,more i think abt it,the sadder i feel... still remember tat day when i went 4 interview,felt so awkward,i remember tat time,i went into pauline office.then pass the table tat we eat,saw some of the kiddy gang 4 the first time,was gifing them the sian look. first day at work,was keeping myself away.bonded more wif the promoters then wif them,the first kiddy gang tat speak to me was raina,still remember it clearly,she asked me if i nid help wif the tv. was gifing attitude to her,sry. then after tat,get to noe the others abit more on x mas party,heard them sing 4 the first time,still remember the promoters comments,hahaz. then after the party saw raina and see kee,hahaz,still remember tat time nvr speak to her at all =S. after promoters left.i then started to get to noe the kiddy gang now,thinking abt all the times when we makan together,the times where me joke abt,the times when we siam the full time stuff becos we were talking,the tunes we played on the piano,the joy we have.if onli pauline will say tat i dun nid to go to northpoint le,how great tat well be.........

2006-03-25T07:53:00.000-08:00

zzz,just finish work,nth much to do,thinking of playing game or watching vcd,zzzz 4 more days to my off day

2006-03-24T07:25:00.000-08:00

back from work lorz,tired,feeling sick,feeling sad,feel like jumping from blk 353,haiz, today at work,nth much la,just keep carry things.zzz,miss the kiddy gang,zzzzzz.then finish le jiu come hm le,nth much i wanna say la,tml then update others ba,cos wannna go make the kiddy gang webby le. buaiz

2006-03-23T07:17:00.000-08:00

today went to work as usual,was veri tired.dunno y.then reach le go race 3 round,then jiu go work le,then tat bloodly li fen ask me go baby department.wat the hell. i dunno anything there loh.knn,then say thing also nvr say properly,just ask me help them cho huo,then i help wendy,come kb. so damn piss.then pauline ask me go to lot 1 and help. i was like,diao,now ar,then tml also hab to go,sian.... then go lot 1,at first veri slack,then abt 7 jiu alot of ppl, then got 3 idiot kids,run here run there,bang into another kid also nvr say sry,then wana take metal and hit ppl.so naughty.then fan gong le jiu come hm le,back pain now.zzz
u ask me y so many dotx,the reason is in one of our msn convesation... tats i hab to say,wish u and him happy ba......

2006-03-22T08:14:00.000-08:00

yoz,new blog,sry ar,keep changing,lol,today was a veri fun day,went out wif the kiddy gang wif our kiddy mum,hahaz,was suppose to meet at 1.30 at woodlands mrt,then become at kiddy palace,lol,no work also must go there,lolz,then after tat,went for seoul garden,shirley u really power la,eat so many mushrm,hahaz,then also any how mix desert,lol,then eat till veri full,then meet see kee and raina,hahaz,then there go back kp.....then me and tim went to time zone,play to 4.45,went down meet shirley they all,then kiddy mum went to her god daughter house,then we take train to the dunno wat concert hall,then keep talking crap,hahaz,then seekee went hm,fast forward to the concert,quite nice la,then in the middle got something unpleasent happen,dun wanna talk abt it here,hahahz,then the xiao zhang 4 jwsec got perform,he play the drum play till like going to heart attack like tat,lolz.then after tat we all go coffeebean talk and take pics,haha.then jiu all go hm le, special thxs here to shirley,jing ying,raina,and tim, thxs 4 acompanying me take 1 big round,ok. signing off le,buaiz
PS, I LOVE KIDDY GANG,LOL